1. junior theme!!! so much to do, so little time/ organization.
2. the school play- a midsummer nights dream-come see it! it opens in like a week and so rehearsals for that are going pretty late into the night
3. my bedroom needs a MAJORRR clean out, but i just dont have the time
4. i owe many people many mix cds
5. i still need to resubmit my headshot & resumes which take forever!
6. i need to start exercising because i cannot walk up a flight of stairs w/out getting winded!
7. people keep asking me when im gonna put new pictures on fb, and that takes a while but i need to do that at some point.
8. all i want to do is go NYU and its not gonna happen and all i can do is think about it non stop and its just like the most depressing thing in the world knowing the one place you want to go wont accept based on grades, no matter how great of a person you are. this just upsets me because i do so much good for the world, the environment, animals, donations yet i feel it goes no where and school do not even consider the good you do for the world, yet if i had straight A's but was an abusive person who hurt their family and like never called their grandma, it wouldn't matter because i would have A's and could get in anywhere I wanted aka NYU. but i dont, but i think im an alright person, ya know, im honest and caring and i want to make change in the world, i really do! i have goals, dreams and aspirations to take me around the world and in search of adventure and enlightenment, but none of that even factors in to school, just grades, which, like i said doesn't have that much to do with who you are are a human being. or maybe you're talented in one area but not in others, should be penalized for that? i hate college!!! i just want to go out to the world and explore, learn things about the earth and our world. travel the world and see all it has to offer. live with just the clothes on my back and really be free. travel from youth hostels and truly experience life. be an actress, have fun, do things that I love. help make change in a world that is desperate for it. help people who can't help themselves, is that really too much to ask for? i want to go to college to figure out how to live successfully doing that so why should i be denied that opportunity. its not that i think i just deserve to go there, its basically that i really want to go there more than anywhere else. i think i could make positive changes in New York. Theres so much to do and so much that needs done there, plus its just an incredible city. i dont really know why i like it, its sort of everything im against-rude people who wont stop to help out someone they just shoved, garbage everywhere, barely any nature-but i do and it excites me so yea, i dunno. maybe its the rebel in me who wants a revolution more than anything else and feels that if it were to happen somewhere it'd be NY and I wanna be there and be a part of it. ahh this topic just keeps going...
so those are just a few of the things stressing me out at the moment. besides that my family is crazy and the only same ones (besides me) are my dogs lucy and coco. gosh their adorable, aren't animals the best? they're always there when you need them! UGH and another thing that stresses me about about life is life. how careless and cruel people can be. besides the recent shooting of a peer at my school, which is still shaking me at this very moment, people just dont care anymore. i read this friend of mines letter the other night and in many many ways it inspired me, as lots of things do (i love being inspired). the world needs more people like him, who actually create change. i know i talk about and in many ways do take action but within the community i live in there is just SOOOOO much more i could do that i feel i never take advantage of. i keep pushing it off saying tomorrow, tomorrow, well when will tomorrow come. how about NOW!! for EVERYONE otay im kinda tired and need to sign up for yoga tomorrow, this was just a little college stress vent, so sorry for all you many readers who read it, hopefully you'll take something away from it.
-sash
BRAT.
ReplyDeletelove,
Rachel